ARTICLE: The Rituals of my Yahoo Life

By Chiedozie Ude

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If You Make This Money At The Expense Of Another’s Life, Wetin You Gain?

The rate of yahoo boys’ killings has skyrocketed in the past few months, probably because these events are now being properly documented, or because we are in the dreaded ‘mber months’ (from September to December), a period known for great deeds of desperation by people who want to achieve what they have not been able to achieve throughout the first nine months of the year. We have boys who dream of riding the latest cars, getting laid by the prettiest girls, flaunting their wealth in the faces of others, thereby making many turn green with envy, and some to an extent join this fraudulent chain just to make ends meet and cater for their families.

At times like this, one will always have the propensity to blame the victims of yahoo boys’ money lust, due to maybe the victims’ greed, wrong orientation, and perhaps naivety to an extent. I as an individual will also follow the obvious train of blaming victims, howbeit, without trying to justify or support the trend of people going through nefarious means for the sake of a huge pay day.

Greed is a huge factor in the recent surge of yahoo boys related killings, and it is not a trait reserved exclusively for the victims because greed is also the driving force that motivates many a perpetrator to indulge in such. As regards citing greed as a factor on the increase in deaths and perhaps madness of victims (sadly, majority are girls), one will be fully justified to make to this claim because most of the victims were lured with cash gifts and other frivolities or perhaps necessities as some will claim. But none of these in my opinion is worth losing one’s life for. Girls should learn to be contented with the little they have, they should avoid caving into peer pressure and its intricacies by never getting enticed by a guy’s wealth, most especially when it is obvious that the money was acquired clandestinely.

Failure to adhere to this principle of contentment is as big a crime as biblically selling one’s birthright because one stands to lose a lot as a result of one indulging in acts that may grant one quick but extremely costly satisfaction.
It is highly appalling to me when I go on social media and see girls fighting over ‘yahoo boys’ or at times, declaring their need for a ‘yahoo boyfriend’, usually with the catchphrase ‘I need a rich boyfriend, preferably, a yahoo boy’. This is a case of ‘trouble dey sleep yanga dey wake am’ as Fela would describe it, and when things like these continue to happen, ritualists will always have a ready made and easily accessible source of sacrificial lambs. Girls should endeavour to draw a red line on dating these people. This trend of girls falling prey to the ruthless claws of marauding money mongering malicious miscreants has got to stop before we literally run out of girls in this part of the world.

Greed in the case of boys has been taken a notch upwards. In a bid to ‘chop this money sharp sharp’, people have begun to not only involve in fraud but also include fetish rituals in the process, not the least of which is human sacrifice. It is no longer uncommon for one to read or hear about people who were killed for ritual purposes and their private organs eviscerated. This is an act of repulsive cruelty, a case of man’s inhumanity to man, and this has got to stop. It is high time our law enforcement agencies did something better to apprehend these cold blooded killers.

Another reason for the increase in money related killings has to be ‘wrong orientation’.  Many feel money is the only language everyone understands, so as a result, they can go to any length in order to belong to ‘The Big Boys Club’. Due to this great misconception about money, many a human has committed acts of utter despicability. If only people could think about the consequences of their actions before committing any act, the world would be a better place. The movies we see and the songs we listen to also play their parts in misleading people. A good example of this is the recent hit song we have in Nigeria entitled ‘wetin we gain’. While I will admit to loving the song, its catchy tune, and also, the singer’s choice of words because it is a song a lot of people can easily relate to, I still feel justified to cite it as an example of wrong orientation because a lot of ‘yahoo boys’ see it as a catalyst to chase money radically, even at the expense of family members, friends and acquaintances. It is not uncommon for one to hear people branding it as the anthem or worship song of fraudsters. In my opinion (no disrespect to the singer), I think the song should be ‘remixed’ as, ‘if you make this money at the expense of another’s life, wetin you gain?’

Lastly, another reason for the increase in victims has to be sheer naivety or feigned ignorance on the part of girls. Due to the stereotype of girls always wanting to date rich guys, a lot fall into the wrong hands in the process, either feigning ignorance about their lover’s illegitimate source of income, or in some cases, they are truly ignorant about this. It all boils down to sheer naivety in my opinion. As a result of this trend of dating the wrong person, many girls end up forfeiting; their once auspicious futures, their careers, and their lives in most cases(such a senseless waste in my opinion). Only few lucky ones escape with their lives, bodies and destinies whole (if the spiritual concept of people using the destiny of others for ritual is anything to go by). In order to counter this, parents and tutors should educate children from a very young age on the need to adhere to principles of humanity, and contentment with what one has.
It pains me as an individual when I read about; these acts of cruelty, the avoidable deaths, and the other tragedies linked to quick money. The most painful part of it all is that there are many out there who will still fall prey despite all the warnings vociferously blared by many a concerned individual.
In all, one should be careful of the company one keeps, and also, parents should endeavour to stop comparing their children to their more successful peers in order not to instigate their children to involve in criminal activities to make ends meet, and also to be more like their colleagues. Remember, no amount of money is worth killing for. Finally, my piece of advice to every individual is that he or she should hustle hard but legitimately. That is, within the confines of the law and with respect for humanity.

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