ENG 116 PUTS ME IN TROUBLE: By Opeyemi Adesokan

Opeyemi writes; FACTION
As I went home for Easter, I met a old friend of mine who studies English in OAU. She is in 100level too, she does Introduction to Language but she never understands the course. When she said, ‘Only human beings use language and only human beings communicate,’ I strongly disagreed. Then I told her that according to my lecturers, Dr Alimi and Adepoju, everything in this life could communicate. Table communicates, a class room communicates, animal communicates, food communicates.

The problem actually began when she asked, ‘does human body communicate?’ I wanted to say ‘Yes’ but she went closer to the door, shadowed if anyone was at sight, closed evey nook and crannies that could be oblivion, came back to where I was seated and stripped of herself nakedly. She, then, asked ‘Do I communicate to you now?’ My mouth was shut up with two seductive kisses. We pushed the ‘Language and Linguistics’ textbook aside, followed were some relishing caresses and we began to communicate with romance. I wanted to stop that kind of communication but that was out of my control. Out of stupid ‘Eng 116’, out of blinded emotion, I gave in completely. All I saw were the glossy laps of hers resting tentatively on my shoulder that went up and down like a bicycle pump. On Easter Monday, I met that my friend again, her stomach was protruding and I was scared that I had to ask her what went wrong.

She said, ‘Don’t you know that my stomach is communicating?’ Apparently, I knew what she meant; she was pregnant. How, why and when questions paraded my mind. I knew it was all my fault but actually it was Dr Adepoju and Alimi that propelled it. When I got to school that very Tuesday we resumed, I went to Dr Apepoju’s office, naked myself in his office, dangled left and right like a pendulum then I said with seethed annoyance, ‘You must explain how I communicate!’ He looked at me and said, ‘Well, your communication shows Madness.’ Head broken, glasses fallen, neck strangled, I cleaned him off further transgression.

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