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A Critical Essay on Condomnairing by Chiedozie Ude.

Condoms, however basic and insignificant they may appear, are highly important when it comes to avoiding pregnancy and other sexual-related infections. Buying and using condoms may be quite tricky due to several factors. It is not uncommon for many a guy who wants to buy condoms to whisper silently to the seller because the buyer does not want other customers in the shop to view him with reproach. Well, if you are scared of buying condoms or you do not know how to properly wear one, this essay is for you.

Firstly, if you are underaged or if you are well known for decency, you might not want to buy condoms from a vendor that is in your area in order not to spoil your reputation. You never know, words may reach your parents or pastor. Now, that will make a juicy scandal. So, the solution to the fear or shame of buying condoms can be solved if you buy it from a place where you are not known. Better still, buy it from an aboki (trust me, these abokis sell everything sellable — that is, they are the true definition of a Jack of all trades) because an aboki will sell to you without asking questions. Do not ask me how I know this.

Having bought the condoms (I used the plural form because I do not think anyone will buy one, and rightly so.), the next issue will be how to keep them away from the wrong eyes. The wrong eyes include: younger siblings (Trust me, your younger ones cannot keep a secret to save their lives.); your parents (especially your mother); and your nosy elderly female neighbours who serve as CCTV for your mother etc. Rest assured that you are safe if you can avoid the set of people mentioned. Being caught by your parents, guardian or mentor is not ideal. Imagine how they will squeeze their faces, expressing their disgust in no uncertain terms, forgetting that they were once teenagers or youth who embarked on a plethora of erotic adventures. Trust me, African parents do not understand the concept of safe sex because total abstinence is their style. Therefore, do not be deceived by thinking they will understand why you keep condoms because they will never even try to understand; so, below are the ways to avoid being caught with the wonderful rubber:
1. Hide the goods in one of the hidden pockets of a standard wallet and never you let your wallet enter the hands of any of those classified as the wrong eyes.
2. Place the goods in an empty Milo container “pangolo” and bury it while facing the west. To be certain that you do it properly, do it while the sun is about to sink into its vest (Permit my floweriness, I mean sunset.). The essence of doing this is because burying a condom is a sacred festival that must be done with a mountain of sacredness.
3. Simply buy the condoms whenever you are about to use them. No need to keep incriminating evidence of your fornicating habit for your beloved and righteous parents to find.

No matter the precautions one may take, one may still be exposed. Little wonder the Pidgin English proverb states thus: “When breeze blow, fowl nyash go open.” Should you ever be caught with the contraband, here is a list of what you should do:
1. Admit to your parents that you are a “fuckaholic” so that they can conduct deliverance service for you. However, if your mother is a Yoruba woman who possesses the immanent or God-given ability to shape destinies with her resounding slaps, you may not apply this method. Do not say I did not warn you.
2. This rule is a tried and tested rule because it works every time. Whenever you are caught, just act casually by saying in an offhand manner that you attended a seminar on sex education and you were given condoms as souvenirs. After you say this, shake your head and say: “Silly me, I forgot to throw that shit out.” Then, you whistle loudly as you go out to discard the material. To appear more real — that is, to make them know it was an honest mistake — take out the trash can and empty it because doing this will remind your parents of how responsible you are. Applying this will save you from answering a lot of questions.

The previous paragraphs have dealt with the issues of buying and hiding condoms, and also the issue of escaping a scolding or a righteous sermon when you are caught with the goods-you-should-not-possess. Having learnt these, the next step will be to guide you on how to properly wear a condom. This stage is the most critical because if it is not done properly, you may end up becoming a father in the next nine months. As a student, you would not want that or would you? So, below are the things that should be done in order to ensure you are not violating the sacrosanct rules of condomnairing:
1. Do not wear the condom on your joystick the way you force your skinny jeans into your yam legs. Doing this may get it broken. Remember, you have to treat a condom with utmost respect and care — the kind of care you will give to a fragile baby.
2. Blow little air into it, place it on your Iroko tree and gently roll it towards your sack of coconuts (Pardon my use of euphemisms, my righteousness does not give room for sexual explicitness.).
3. Rule three is very important because it is where legends stand out. You may know how to wear a condom but are you a condomnairing legend? Read on to find out. Always leave a paragraph at the beginning of your Jack hammer when you put on a condom. This paragraph is important because it is going to store whatever you bring out during copulation. Remember, what separates the best from the rest is simply paragraphing.

In conclusion, you now know where you stand as a guy or where your boyfriends stand for the girls. Some of them are condomnairing legends while the rest need to up their game. Finally, it is believed that the unconventional methods suggested in this article will go a long way in ensuring that boys become legends.

13 year-old ‘pregnant girl kills herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men’

13 year-old ‘pregnant girl kills herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men’
A pregnant 13-year-old girl killed herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men and held captive in a flat, it has been claimed.The teenager is alleged to have snapped a photo showing her legs dangling from a roof and sent it to a friend with a message saying: “I’m about to go, I love you.”The girl also wrote a series of Facebook posts reading “I’m about to go” and “If I wasn’t pregnant, I would have gone a long time ago”, it was reported.Her mother, who reported the alleged attack to police in Bangkok, Thailand, said it had sent her into a deep depression before she died by suicide last Friday.
The girl, identified publicly only by her nickname, Pinkie, jumped to her death from a block of flats just before midnight, Thai media reported.Her mum had told police that a gang of men had held her daughter captive and r.a.p.e.d her on the night of November 11, Coconuts Bangkok reported.Police told the news website they had identified two suspects, but reports claimed up to six men were involved in the attack.Royal Thai Police said they had arrested one man on an unrelated gun offence during a raid on his home.Officers were searching for a second man.Spokesman Krissana Pattanacharoen said: “Both suspects face charges for collaborating to sexually abuse the girl.

13 year-old ‘pregnant girl kills herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men’
A pregnant 13-year-old girl killed herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men and held captive in a flat, it has been claimed.The teenager is alleged to have snapped a photo showing her legs dangling from a roof and sent it to a friend with a message saying: “I’m about to go, I love you.”The girl also wrote a series of Facebook posts reading “I’m about to go” and “If I wasn’t pregnant, I would have gone a long time ago”, it was reported.Her mother, who reported the alleged attack to police in Bangkok, Thailand, said it had sent her into a deep depression before she died by suicide last Friday.
The girl, identified publicly only by her nickname, Pinkie, jumped to her death from a block of flats just before midnight, Thai media reported.Her mum had told police that a gang of men had held her daughter captive and r.a.p.e.d her on the night of November 11, Coconuts Bangkok reported.Police told the news website they had identified two suspects, but reports claimed up to six men were involved in the attack.Royal Thai Police said they had arrested one man on an unrelated gun offence during a raid on his home.Officers were searching for a second man.Spokesman Krissana Pattanacharoen said: “Both suspects face charges for collaborating to sexually abuse the girl.
Source: ladunliadinews.com

CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS!!!

Dear Esteemed Readers,
LITC — LOVE IS THE CURE — is hosting its second charity outreach on the 27th of December, 2019. So, you all are cordially invited to take part in it. Assist us in any way you can. We receive donations in form of cash, clothes, food items and toys. Join us today, as we spread the love during this period.

For more information on this, text or call the following numbers:

1. Chiedozie Ude *09090953414*
2. Chidinma Okonkwo *08180073734*
3. Afolabi Shobowale *08183848314*
4. Ekene Muolokwu *08127866274*
5. Andre Orji *08105463252*
6. Tochukwu Okoronkwo *08145697832*

CCTV Repairer Caught His Girlfriend On Camera Making Out with Another Guy In The Cinema [SCREENSHOTS]

A CCTV engineer has revealed via his social media platform that he bumped into a video of his girlfriend being ‘benged’ by another man in a movie cinema.According to the man, he and his team of CCTV engineers were billed to run routine maintenance on the CCTV installed at E-Centre in Victoria Island in Lagos, Nigeria and he got heartbroken after he randomly bumped into a video of his girlfriend being ‘benged’ by another man in the cinema hall.The Nigerian man disclosed that he wanted to have a copy of the recordings as evidence but it goes against work ethics.The heartbroken man took to WhatsApp to gist his friend about the shock he had during the routine maintenance on the CCTV installed at E-Centre in Victoria Island.
Read their chats below:

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

Source: browngh.com

A CCTV engineer has revealed via his social media platform that he bumped into a video of his girlfriend being ‘benged’ by another man in a movie cinema.According to the man, he and his team of CCTV engineers were billed to run routine maintenance on the CCTV installed at E-Centre in Victoria Island in Lagos, Nigeria and he got heartbroken after he randomly bumped into a video of his girlfriend being ‘benged’ by another man in the cinema hall.The Nigerian man disclosed that he wanted to have a copy of the recordings as evidence but it goes against work ethics.The heartbroken man took to WhatsApp to gist his friend about the shock he had during the routine maintenance on the CCTV installed at E-Centre in Victoria Island.
Read their chats below:

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

CCTV repairer caught his girlfriend on camera making out with another guy in the cinema (Screenshots)

Source: browngh.com

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My Pu$$y will not rest until I Buy iPhone 11

iPhone Slay Queen
It is still interesting to see how people crave for iPhones especially the latest iPhones when they are put in the market.Many women will do anything for an iPhone to the extent that some will let men sleep with them in exchange for the Apple product.Since the outdoor of the latest iPhone 11 Max Pro, several celebrities including Sandra Ankobiah, Tonto Dikeh and others have flaunted their latest mobile device on social media.Tonto Dikeh who purchased 3 pieces of the brand new series of iPhone 11 Max Pro has advised women not to sleep with numerous men just to be able to purchase the fone which cost about $1000.00.A Ghanaian slay queen has turned deaf ears to Tonto Dikeh’s advice as she had vowed not to rest until she owns an iPhone 11 Max Pro.This slay queen whose name is yet to be identified made this pronouncement on social media shared by Hiplife founder Reggie Rockstone.In the said post which she added her photo, the lady posted her photo and her caption hinted she’s ready to allow men to have their way with her so she could get money to purchase the phone.See the screenshot below

Source: browngh.com

Everywhere Konji!!! 85-Year-Old Woman Caught In A Group SXX With 5 Men. GBAMLOG.COM

85-Year-Old Woman Caught In A Group SXX With 5 Men

An 85-yr-old woman has been arrested after she was caught having group sxx in woodland in Connecticut, the United States in the penultimate week.

On Aug 9, concerned citizens called the police to report a public hook-up happening in the wooded area. The octogenarian was spotted with 5 elderly men including her husband having an orgy.

Image result for 85-Year-Old Woman Caught Having Sex With Five Men, Including Her Husband

All six were apprehended and charged with breach of peace.

The senior citizens are identified as Joyce Butler, 85 – the only woman participating in the orgy – her husband Richard Butler, 82; Daniel Dobbins, 67; Otto D. Williams, 62; Charles L. Ardito, 75; and John Linartz, 62.

Image result for 85 year old woman

According to the Fairfield Police Department, the senior citizens were busted while getting hot and heavy at the Grace Richardson

The Scene of the group sex; and four of the culprits.

Conservation Area during a surveillance operation on public hook-ups in the area. Two of the suspects, Daniel Dobbins and John Linartz have additionally been charged with public indecency.

Dobbins was previously charged with second-degree breach of peace by Connecticut police after witnesses said they spotted him walking around a park naked before police found him inside his car “with his shirt and shorts draped over him and no underclothes.”

The culprits have been released and will appear in court at a later date.

Leave your comments below…

Source: dailyadvent

Man Arrested For Sleeping With Mad Woman In Lagos (Photo). GBAMLOG.COM

The man arrested for sleeping with a mad womanThe Police in Lagos have arrested a 30-year man, who reportedly specialised in engaging and impregnating mad ladies on the streets, after he allegedly took a pregnant mad woman into an uncompleted building to have s-x.The suspect, Laminu Alli, was apprehended by the Lagos residents after he was reportedly caught inside the uncompleted building, where he went to have s-x with victim simply identified as Christiana.The incident happened at Isheri Olofin along Igando-LASU Expressway to Iyana Iba area of Lagos.PM Express gathered that it was not the first the suspect, Alli, had reportedly been caught with mad women inside uncompleted building but the residents decided to confirm their suspicion over a period of time.Alli was said to have taken the mad victim, Christiana, into the building and pulled his trouser in order to penetrate her before he was caught and accused of armed robbery.However, he denied being an armed robber but only took the victim into the building in order to have sex with her despite the fact that the victim was pregnant and not mentally balanced.He was handed over to the Police at Idimu Division. After interrogation, the Police found him culpable and later arraigned him before the Ejigbo Magistrates Court for attempting to rape a mad woman by force with the knife found on him.He pleaded not guilty.The prosecutor, Supol Kenneth Asibor, asked the Court to give a date for hearing since he pleaded not guilty to enable the Police to prove the matter.Thus, the Presiding Magistrate, Mr. T.O Shomade, granted him bail in the sum of N100,000 with two sureties in like sum.He was remanded in prison custody pending when he will perfect his bail. The matter was adjourned till 12th August, 2019.

Source: tori.ng

The man arrested for sleeping with a mad womanThe Police in Lagos have arrested a 30-year man, who reportedly specialised in engaging and impregnating mad ladies on the streets, after he allegedly took a pregnant mad woman into an uncompleted building to have s-x.The suspect, Laminu Alli, was apprehended by the Lagos residents after he was reportedly caught inside the uncompleted building, where he went to have s-x with victim simply identified as Christiana.The incident happened at Isheri Olofin along Igando-LASU Expressway to Iyana Iba area of Lagos.PM Express gathered that it was not the first the suspect, Alli, had reportedly been caught with mad women inside uncompleted building but the residents decided to confirm their suspicion over a period of time.Alli was said to have taken the mad victim, Christiana, into the building and pulled his trouser in order to penetrate her before he was caught and accused of armed robbery.However, he denied being an armed robber but only took the victim into the building in order to have sex with her despite the fact that the victim was pregnant and not mentally balanced.He was handed over to the Police at Idimu Division. After interrogation, the Police found him culpable and later arraigned him before the Ejigbo Magistrates Court for attempting to rape a mad woman by force with the knife found on him.He pleaded not guilty.The prosecutor, Supol Kenneth Asibor, asked the Court to give a date for hearing since he pleaded not guilty to enable the Police to prove the matter.Thus, the Presiding Magistrate, Mr. T.O Shomade, granted him bail in the sum of N100,000 with two sureties in like sum.He was remanded in prison custody pending when he will perfect his bail. The matter was adjourned till 12th August, 2019.

Source: tori.ng

Nigerians React As Small sized Man Strike Funny Pose With Tall Curvy Ladies (Photos)

Nigerians React As Small sized Man Strike Funny Pose With Tall Curvy Ladies (Photos)

An exited dwarf man has caused a stir on the internet after he was pictured striking a funny pose with two super curvy Nigerian women at an event held in Lagos.

The video of the small-sized man smiling frantically as he poses with the ladies had trending and gotten a lot of people talking. According to the blogger, thefamousblog the small-sized man was so happy to pose with the super curvy women, he had to drop his phone while smiling sheepishly at the camera. The video has gotten a lot of online users laughing and reacting.
Some of the reactions from online users, Badfranchize wrote; I just watched the video again. And i can’t stop laughing. Shit is mad funny. He put his phone at the b**ty and later put his hands on his head.

Meekbliss-officalz wrote; Wetin person no go see

Francis wrote; One thing must kill a man
Mark wrote; Damn.. he said big a** always makes a man act like a baby. LolWhat are your thoughts on this? Kindly leave a comment and don’t forget to share

The video of the small-sized man smiling frantically as he poses with the ladies had trending and gotten a lot of people talking. According to the blogger, thefamousblog the small-sized man was so happy to pose with the super curvy women, he had to drop his phone while smiling sheepishly at the camera. The video has gotten a lot of online users laughing and reacting.
Some of the reactions from online users, Badfranchize wrote; I just watched the video again. And i can’t stop laughing. Shit is mad funny. He put his phone at the b**ty and later put his hands on his head.

Meekbliss-officalz wrote; Wetin person no go see

Francis wrote; One thing must kill a man
Mark wrote; Damn.. he said big a** always makes a man act like a baby. LolWhat are your thoughts on this? Kindly leave a comment and don’t forget to share