Tag Archives: hearbreak

A Critical Essay on Condomnairing by Chiedozie Ude.

Condoms, however basic and insignificant they may appear, are highly important when it comes to avoiding pregnancy and other sexual-related infections. Buying and using condoms may be quite tricky due to several factors. It is not uncommon for many a guy who wants to buy condoms to whisper silently to the seller because the buyer does not want other customers in the shop to view him with reproach. Well, if you are scared of buying condoms or you do not know how to properly wear one, this essay is for you.

Firstly, if you are underaged or if you are well known for decency, you might not want to buy condoms from a vendor that is in your area in order not to spoil your reputation. You never know, words may reach your parents or pastor. Now, that will make a juicy scandal. So, the solution to the fear or shame of buying condoms can be solved if you buy it from a place where you are not known. Better still, buy it from an aboki (trust me, these abokis sell everything sellable — that is, they are the true definition of a Jack of all trades) because an aboki will sell to you without asking questions. Do not ask me how I know this.

Having bought the condoms (I used the plural form because I do not think anyone will buy one, and rightly so.), the next issue will be how to keep them away from the wrong eyes. The wrong eyes include: younger siblings (Trust me, your younger ones cannot keep a secret to save their lives.); your parents (especially your mother); and your nosy elderly female neighbours who serve as CCTV for your mother etc. Rest assured that you are safe if you can avoid the set of people mentioned. Being caught by your parents, guardian or mentor is not ideal. Imagine how they will squeeze their faces, expressing their disgust in no uncertain terms, forgetting that they were once teenagers or youth who embarked on a plethora of erotic adventures. Trust me, African parents do not understand the concept of safe sex because total abstinence is their style. Therefore, do not be deceived by thinking they will understand why you keep condoms because they will never even try to understand; so, below are the ways to avoid being caught with the wonderful rubber:
1. Hide the goods in one of the hidden pockets of a standard wallet and never you let your wallet enter the hands of any of those classified as the wrong eyes.
2. Place the goods in an empty Milo container “pangolo” and bury it while facing the west. To be certain that you do it properly, do it while the sun is about to sink into its vest (Permit my floweriness, I mean sunset.). The essence of doing this is because burying a condom is a sacred festival that must be done with a mountain of sacredness.
3. Simply buy the condoms whenever you are about to use them. No need to keep incriminating evidence of your fornicating habit for your beloved and righteous parents to find.

No matter the precautions one may take, one may still be exposed. Little wonder the Pidgin English proverb states thus: “When breeze blow, fowl nyash go open.” Should you ever be caught with the contraband, here is a list of what you should do:
1. Admit to your parents that you are a “fuckaholic” so that they can conduct deliverance service for you. However, if your mother is a Yoruba woman who possesses the immanent or God-given ability to shape destinies with her resounding slaps, you may not apply this method. Do not say I did not warn you.
2. This rule is a tried and tested rule because it works every time. Whenever you are caught, just act casually by saying in an offhand manner that you attended a seminar on sex education and you were given condoms as souvenirs. After you say this, shake your head and say: “Silly me, I forgot to throw that shit out.” Then, you whistle loudly as you go out to discard the material. To appear more real — that is, to make them know it was an honest mistake — take out the trash can and empty it because doing this will remind your parents of how responsible you are. Applying this will save you from answering a lot of questions.

The previous paragraphs have dealt with the issues of buying and hiding condoms, and also the issue of escaping a scolding or a righteous sermon when you are caught with the goods-you-should-not-possess. Having learnt these, the next step will be to guide you on how to properly wear a condom. This stage is the most critical because if it is not done properly, you may end up becoming a father in the next nine months. As a student, you would not want that or would you? So, below are the things that should be done in order to ensure you are not violating the sacrosanct rules of condomnairing:
1. Do not wear the condom on your joystick the way you force your skinny jeans into your yam legs. Doing this may get it broken. Remember, you have to treat a condom with utmost respect and care — the kind of care you will give to a fragile baby.
2. Blow little air into it, place it on your Iroko tree and gently roll it towards your sack of coconuts (Pardon my use of euphemisms, my righteousness does not give room for sexual explicitness.).
3. Rule three is very important because it is where legends stand out. You may know how to wear a condom but are you a condomnairing legend? Read on to find out. Always leave a paragraph at the beginning of your Jack hammer when you put on a condom. This paragraph is important because it is going to store whatever you bring out during copulation. Remember, what separates the best from the rest is simply paragraphing.

In conclusion, you now know where you stand as a guy or where your boyfriends stand for the girls. Some of them are condomnairing legends while the rest need to up their game. Finally, it is believed that the unconventional methods suggested in this article will go a long way in ensuring that boys become legends.

13 year-old ‘pregnant girl kills herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men’

13 year-old ‘pregnant girl kills herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men’
A pregnant 13-year-old girl killed herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men and held captive in a flat, it has been claimed.The teenager is alleged to have snapped a photo showing her legs dangling from a roof and sent it to a friend with a message saying: “I’m about to go, I love you.”The girl also wrote a series of Facebook posts reading “I’m about to go” and “If I wasn’t pregnant, I would have gone a long time ago”, it was reported.Her mother, who reported the alleged attack to police in Bangkok, Thailand, said it had sent her into a deep depression before she died by suicide last Friday.
The girl, identified publicly only by her nickname, Pinkie, jumped to her death from a block of flats just before midnight, Thai media reported.Her mum had told police that a gang of men had held her daughter captive and r.a.p.e.d her on the night of November 11, Coconuts Bangkok reported.Police told the news website they had identified two suspects, but reports claimed up to six men were involved in the attack.Royal Thai Police said they had arrested one man on an unrelated gun offence during a raid on his home.Officers were searching for a second man.Spokesman Krissana Pattanacharoen said: “Both suspects face charges for collaborating to sexually abuse the girl.

13 year-old ‘pregnant girl kills herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men’
A pregnant 13-year-old girl killed herself after being gang r.a.p.e.d by up to six men and held captive in a flat, it has been claimed.The teenager is alleged to have snapped a photo showing her legs dangling from a roof and sent it to a friend with a message saying: “I’m about to go, I love you.”The girl also wrote a series of Facebook posts reading “I’m about to go” and “If I wasn’t pregnant, I would have gone a long time ago”, it was reported.Her mother, who reported the alleged attack to police in Bangkok, Thailand, said it had sent her into a deep depression before she died by suicide last Friday.
The girl, identified publicly only by her nickname, Pinkie, jumped to her death from a block of flats just before midnight, Thai media reported.Her mum had told police that a gang of men had held her daughter captive and r.a.p.e.d her on the night of November 11, Coconuts Bangkok reported.Police told the news website they had identified two suspects, but reports claimed up to six men were involved in the attack.Royal Thai Police said they had arrested one man on an unrelated gun offence during a raid on his home.Officers were searching for a second man.Spokesman Krissana Pattanacharoen said: “Both suspects face charges for collaborating to sexually abuse the girl.
Source: ladunliadinews.com

CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS!!!

Dear Esteemed Readers,
LITC — LOVE IS THE CURE — is hosting its second charity outreach on the 27th of December, 2019. So, you all are cordially invited to take part in it. Assist us in any way you can. We receive donations in form of cash, clothes, food items and toys. Join us today, as we spread the love during this period.

For more information on this, text or call the following numbers:

1. Chiedozie Ude *09090953414*
2. Chidinma Okonkwo *08180073734*
3. Afolabi Shobowale *08183848314*
4. Ekene Muolokwu *08127866274*
5. Andre Orji *08105463252*
6. Tochukwu Okoronkwo *08145697832*

THE CHAPTERS OF MY BREAKUP by Jazmine | GBAMLOG.COM

Chapter 1
In the beginning
In the beginning, everything was great, wonderful even. Jessica and Justin started dating. The perfect couple, getting shipped since grade 1. They’re finally together at last. It’s November 10th, 2017, a school day, the day Jessica said yes to Justin. The last time we would see Jessica single, but we didn’t know that at the time, now I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to November 10th, 2017. Jessica always liked Justin and Justin always liked her. Jessica was always cheerful, she always wore a smile, she was smart as hell, she was one of my best friends and like me she was an outcast. Justin was always everywhere, he wasn’t an outcast but wasn’t popular either, he was always talking to everyone and his best friend was my twin brother, Jax. Now you’re probably wondering what my name is, my name is Julia. Now back to Jessica and Justin. November 10th, 2017 went down in everyone’s calendars as the day the perfect couple became a couple. Jessica and Justin were the cutest couple ever, me, Jax, a guy named Austin and a girl named Ashley made a bet back in grade 2 that Jessica and Justin would get together by grade 8. Now I know we shouldn’t bet on people and their life but it was fun. My and Jessica’s social circle is something you are going to need to know, so here’s our social circle:
Jessica’s and Julia’s social circle
1) Julia (12)
2) Jessica (12)
3) Ashley (12)
4) Austin (12)
5) Justin (12)
6) Jax (12)
Now who’s all together? Well, me and Austin are dating, Ashley and Jax are dating and now Jessica and Justin. Ashley and Austin are twins to. Now Jessica’s dad is in jail with my and Jax’s dad and Austin’s and Ashley’s dad. All of us but Justin have known each other since 1½ years old, we also had a rough past, but Justin he came in kindergarten and he has both parents, that love him unlike us. So, with Jessica and Justin dating there was finally a little light in Jessica’s life.

Chapter 2
November 10th, 2017
November 10th, 2017 is a day I remember like it was yesterday. The day started like any other, it was cold but not to cold and I had a feeling that something good was going to happen. we started the day with French which was normal, with kids yelling, shouting out and not listening or staying in their seats. After French we had social studies, were we listened to our teacher. We had first break after French and social studies. First break was the same has usual, we all went to our lunchrooms, which was me and Austin in Mr. Icemen’s classroom, Jessica and Ashley in Mr. Sharkners classroom and Justin and Jax in Ms. Marks’ classroom. We always went outside for 20 minutes after eating for 20 minutes. While outside we played truth or dare like always and after a while our teacher, Ms. Shamarker, started playing with us. It was fun playing truth or dare with Ms. Shamarker because she was dared to say what she thought about our curriculum and how she really felt about some of us kids. After first break we had gym, we played basketball and after gym I started to feel like nothing good was going to happen. language came after gym, we were working on short stories. I was working with Jessica and Ashley. The story we were writing was about a girl with a secret admirer. It wasn’t till second break something good really happened. Almost everyone goes off school property second break and something good happened, it really happened and when it did we were all in shock even Jessica. It happened, the thing we were all waiting for since grade 1, Justin asked out Jessica and it was amazing, totally unexpected and cute. Everyone’s mouths dropped and me, Jax, Ashley and Austin all screamed, “FINALLY”! After break we had math and science, then we all went home to do homework and think about what would happen if the person we loved for 7 years finally asked us out.

Chapter 3
The perfect couple
Jessica and Justin were the perfect couple. They were going on dates every other Saturday and spending nights at each other houses. They did just about everything together. Jessica would tell me about their dates and about how happy she was. Justin told Jax about how he wouldn’t mess this relationship up and how lucky he was to have found a girl like Jessica. While at school they were ruled the happiest couple at Crantel public school, Jessica, Ashley and I were ruled the longest friendship at Crantel public school. Everything was wonderful, Jessica and Justin were finally together and all the bullies at Crantel public school left. The dream Jessica had since day 1 was finally reality.

Chapter 4
Echo bowl trip
January 12th, 2018, we went to Echo bowl on a school trip. The whole school was there, from grade 3 to grade 8 and our school was the only school there. We all were having fun. Everyone loved bowling but what happened there made us all hate bowling after. Jessica saw something that she wasn’t supposed to see, something no one was supposed to see or hear about. She saw Justin French kiss Alissa. Justin also liked Alissa before he asked out Jessica. Alissa was also one of Justin’s ex-girlfriend’s and with Jessica seeing them French kiss it was twenty times worse.

Chapter 5
Friday January 12th, 2018

When we got back to school from bowling, it wasn’t the same. We all thought Jessica and Justin were happy. That day we found out they weren’t, they were fighting all the time. They just acted liked they were fine in front of everybody. Twenty minutes after we got back, we also found out that Justin got Alissa pregnant and that he was cheating on Jessica for the last two months. Justin liked Alissa more then Jessica and he didn’t think of what Jessica would do after finding out, none of us did. Jessica was upset and now looking back everyone should’ve notice she wasn’t happy. Jessica was always cheerful, and she pretended to be happy. I blame myself for what happen at the end the day that day because I should’ve notice what was going on, I was her best friend and I let her down.

Chapter 6
The ending
That same day at the end of the day, something terrible happened, something no one could believe. Jessica was done with everything and at 2:30 she told all of us. Around 2:20, Jessica took apart her pencil sharpener and took the razor blade with no one knowing. She then asked to go to the bathroom. After 10 minutes I was sent in to check on her and what I saw was so gruesome it was unbelievable. There on the floor was Jessica’s lifeless body just lying there. I ran over to her body and I started crying and screaming and in no time at all the principle heard me and came to the bathroom. The principle, Mr. Ant, was scared himself and he told me, “go get Mrs. Gold, right now”. Mrs. Gold was our secretary. I ran and got her, she then ran back to the office and called the paramedic’s and police. Mrs. Gold also got on the intercom and announced that there was a problem, and no one could leave their classrooms. The police and paramedics arrived in 5 minutes flat. The police found the letter and the paramedics rushed Jessica to the hospital. Our whole class went up 2 minutes after her and her family was already there scared as hell. We were all scared for Jessica’s life and when the doctor came out twenty minutes later and said she was, “gone and I’m so sorry for your loss”, her mother collapsed on her farther and everyone in our class started crying. Jessica was loved by all and when they announced she was dead it was like a little part of everyone died. The police gave us the suicide letter, I read it out loud to everyone. She wrote:

“to whomever this concerns,

I can’t take this any more with school and all this fricking drama. Justin still liked Alissa and she is a month pregnant with his child. I saw him kiss her today while bowling and that is were I had enough. So, good-bye to my friends, family, teachers, classmates and Justin. I will miss all of you and to Justin I still love you, always had and I always will.

Signed,
Jessica”
we were all shocked by what was happening and devastated. This is how all it ends now, after everything this is how it all ended.

Chapter 7
Fifteen years after
Fifteen years after Jessica’s suicide, we all still miss vary much. Ashley and I are supermodels now and still dating each others’ brothers. Justin became a teenage parent and is still with Alissa. Jax and Austin are now famous basketball players and our teachers some went on and taught at different schools and others stayed at Crantel public school. Today would have been Jessica’s birthday, February 14th. Ever since Jessica committed suicide I’ve hated valentines’ day.

The end!

TRAGIC ROMANCE: THE BROKEN HEART by Jose Heavena | GBAMLOG.COM

TTRTTThe journey of a kind hearted girl, who has to face lots of difficulties post- marriage.

Kia is a kind-hearted, sensitive and a charming girl. She loves her family a lot. Her parents encorage and pamper her. She had graduated in Biotechnology from a reputed Institution. She had worked as a Lecturer and everyone loves her, because of her helping tendency. Kia  loves adventures and she has lots of ambitions in her life.

Kia wants to pursue PhD, but she gets married at the age of 26. Her marriage is a pure arranged marriage and it takes place in a small town in Tamilnadu. On 9th May 2016, she got married to Krish. Kia’s dad hold her hands and walk towards the aisle. Everyone’s eyes get fixed on Kia as she walks on the red carpet. Kia looks adorable in her beautiful white gown.Her marriage takes place grandly with her friends and relatives.

Krish is an employee,working for IT sales in Mumbai. He is the only son who is loved by his family a lot. Krish is a well of and male egoistic person. He values people based on their money and fame. Kia gets relocated to Mumbai after marriage. Everything seems to be fine and good at the start and she gets conceived and gives birth to an adorable bary girl named Ria, on May 8th,2017. All the members in her family becomes happy.

Days passes and Krish’s parents torture Kia both physically and mentally. They beat and abuse her.Kia bears everything for her daughter, because she does’nt want Ria to separate from her dad.Krish’s mom says to Kia, that she is not capable for her son. Kia’s heart gets broken and she cries terribly. Krish is always busy in his life with his work and watching football matches at night,without even considering Kia. Kia remains all alone in that home.  Kia informs this to Krish, but he tells her to adjust and live.

One fine day, Kia makes her mind and comes to her dad’s house with Ria. Kia’s parents support and encourage her to become an author and she finally becomes an author.Kia works hard to fulfill all her child’s needs. Kia made up her mind that she will not go back to Mumbai to her inlaws house.

When Kia was alone in Mumbai,she used to pray a lot and she believed only god can heal her wounds. Kia wants to give Ria a good life with good moral values and manners. Kia lives for Ria and she hopes Ria would take care of her in the future.

Classic Romance: SHE DANCED IN THE RAIN by J.BISHOP

Life was not going as Miranda Allen had thought it should. It had been three long years. Those years involved frequent fighting followed by her husband Adam telling her that she would never amount to anything. Tears often stained her cheeks as she would always look in the mirror at the end of the day and say she was where she was supposed to be. No one had told her otherwise.

Miranda’s world came crashing down when she walked in on her husband and his mistress a few months after leaving her home. Holding back the urge to throttle the both of them, all she could do was stand there. With tears welling up in her eyes once more as they often did, she refused to let them fall. No way was she going to give this man the satisfaction of seeing that. Silence filled the room as all time seemed to just stand still. Even the hands on the clock above the stove didn’t dare move. The last phrase uttered before the click of the door was still ringing in her ears as she stood outside on their porch.

“ You win.” Those two words shattered any thought of the life she had wanted. The kids they planned to raise, the house they planned to build…all gone with those two words. With a heavy sigh Miranda made her way down the steps and into the night , not daring to look back and see if either one had come outside or was looking out the window at her. She decided to walk away with her head held as high as it would go.

If only Miranda could go back in time. Back to the time when she was a young and carefree sixteen year-old. She and Adam met each other when they were still in High School. She was the outgoing girl with brown eyes that always seemed to be smiling. She loved being around people and didn’t mind being the first person to approach someone. If people wanted to find her they just looked for the girl with the long brunette hair that always seemed to be pulled back in a unique hairstyle. One day those brown eyes locked on to a shy boy from across the room. She took in his red curly hair and hazel eyes and fell instantly. She just had to know who this person was. The beginning of their sudden romance was perfect to her. There were love notes back and forth, McDonald’s trips before school and many laughs. Adam treated her as though she were a princess. It never occurred to her that things would change as they got older. She was blinded by the love that he was giving her then and she didn’t want to think that it could stop. Once they were out of High School they planned to get married. Miranda wanted to be his wife and be in his life forever. She didn’t want to think of a time that they weren’t an item.

The wedding came and went and before they knew it, the young couple was out on their own. The real world right in front of them. That was when their love was really tested. Often days were filled with both working and never really seeing each other. She worked at a clothing store and he worked at a machine shop so their schedules never seemed to quite mesh. There were days Miranda wished she didn’t have to work so she could spend more time with him, but that just wasn’t in the cards. Through all that it never seemed like there was anything wrong. Many couples faced those same challenges daily and still held strong so why couldn’t two young people? They loved each other right?

The cracks started to show one day after their third year anniversary. Miranda could feel the tension in that hotel room and just didn’t feel as close as she once did. The still young wife always found herself asking her husband if something was wrong or if he was still happy with her. Always the answer was,

“ Of course I’m fine.” She didn’t want to question it at the times of asking but it was something constantly nagging at her. Was he really happy or did he just feel like he had to say that? He didn’t hold her like he used to that was for sure. And when it came to conversations, they never seemed as deep. She wanted to feel more connected to him and would do anything to make him happy. So in a last ditch effort she agreed with a separation. It tore her heart in half but she felt if this little break would make him feel closer to her in the end then it was worth it. She didn’t want him to feel like he was trapped.

That week of separation seemed to go on forever. Adam was now living with a friend and the only contact Miranda had was a text message here or there. No phone calls and no visiting. How was this supposed to help their marriage. Couples were supposed to be able to talk their problems out and come together, not having yelling matches where doors were slapped and people drove off. She felt like she had failed and the only comfort she had to cling to was that he hadn’t completely moved out. So she fixed her place on the sofa and would lay there night after night not able to sleep and wondered if he was having the same trouble.

Time went by and Miranda got the phone call she had been waiting for.

“ Hey Miranda it’s Adam. I was wondering if you wanted me to come pick you up after work? I have decided it is time to come back home.”

Joy filled Miranda’s heart as he said that last sentence. He wanted to come back home! Of course she agreed and he did in fact come back home to her. You would think that was where it ended. The two would get back together and love would conquer all and they would live happily ever after. It didn’t go that way though. Love is not something that just comes and goes. Once Adam came back things seemed to go okay for awhile. The couple forgave each other and Miranda did every thing she could to make him happy. Maybe that was the problem. She didn’t like confrontations with him and often found herself caving because she didn’t want him leaving again.

If only that had been the only thing she had to do to keep her husband around. Months went by and things seemed to be going a lot better for the Allens. Adam was starting to pay a lot more attention to Miranda and she was loving it. She finally felt like the only woman in his life.

Things didn’t stay that way for long. Before Miranda knew it, the petty fights started up again. The feeling that something wasn’t right was starting to come up in her mind. No matter how hard she tried pushing them away, it seemed to linger.

The snowball affect began a few weeks later. First it was the picture she found hidden in his top drawer. It seemed innocent at first but Miranda felt in her heart it wasn’t. Adam would explain that the pictures were meant for her. She would fly into a rage and rip them up and toss it at him knowing it wasn’t true. He seemed to be pulling away as well physically and emotionally. Often times on her days off he would find an excuse as to why he didn’t want to be at home. He would tell her that he just didn’t feel like being home with her. This ripped at her heart until she couldn’t take it anymore.

She finally got up the nerve to ask him if he still loved her. Looking deep into his hazel eyes , Miranda tried to see the man that she had fallen in love with when they were just teenagers. He no longer seemed to be there. In his place was a man who seemed to have forgotten the life they had, a long with the plans for the future. Miranda tried desperately to find some kind of spark, but the silence told her that it was no where to be found.

“ Listen Miranda, we have had so many issues these past few months, with the fighting and the- the mistrust.. it’s just not working out.” He explained slowly, clearly trying to avoid eye contact.

“ We were working things out though! We decided to try again right? Have you not been trying? I have been doing everything to keep you happy.

“ It takes more than that. We can still be friends but as for this marriage, I’m done. I don’t need all this stress.”

“ THAT IS A BUNCH OF BULL!!! Miranda exploded. She had had enough. She couldn’t hold her anger in anymore.

“ WHO IS SHE???”

“ What are you talking about?”

“ I want to know who it is because clearly you have already moved on…probably even before the separation.”

“ There is no one Miranda. There has just been too much drama for me and I think it is best we go our separate ways.” He tried putting his hand on her shoulder and she violently shook it off.

“ BULL!” She spat again before jumping off the couch and running into the bedroom.

That blowout had happened just a few months ago but to Miranda it seemed like it was just yesterday. The activities that followed that night were a blur though. She ended up moving back in with her parent’s so that she could clear her head. Turns out the temporary break became permanent when she came back to the apartment to find that he refused to move out. She didn’t know what had changed his mind but she didn’t want to fight anymore. Instead she told him that she would be by to pick up her things when she could.

The night she found out about his other woman Miranda had planned on going there to make one last attempt to fix things. Those plans changed when she walked in on the two of them. That was the night she just wanted to leave and not look back. How could he do that? How could he throw away a relationship just like that?

It has now taken Miranda several therapy sessions with her friends and many sleepless nights but she finally started to feel okay. She wasn’t in the best of places but she felt that she could go on with life. This was tested one evening as she and her friends were hanging out at one of their favorite restaurants.

“ So did you hear that Adam is having a kid with that woman he is shacking up with?”

The question came out of nowhere , and as Miranda sat there processing this…she kind of smiled a little bit. The ladies surrounding her all wanted to know what she was thinking….

“ He can’t hurt me anymore. That was the last thing he could do. Now I can’t be hurt by him anymore.”

As the ladies all sat there talking about what the future plans were for the weekend Miranda just kept smiling. She had been through so much and now it seemed as though a large weight had been lifted. She could be released from the arrows that kept being shot at her…one after the other. The fights, the affair, the pregnancy….she could finally see that nothing else could be done by him that would make her unhappy. She finally could move on and be happy.

End